It’s the dawn of a new year. It’s that time where everyone eats healthier; gym sign ups are at their highest; desks are tidier; hopes are renewed. It’s such a beautiful season. Things that were “boring” and “not necessary”, now get pumped with a new motivation – it’s a new year, it’s my time to change, to get better, to be whole.
Over the past week, two quotes have stuck in my head. Although I’ve read these quotes before perhaps a mix of events and circumstances have brought a new meaning to them and I’m seeing things differently through that understanding.
Mark Twain once said that “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why”. The birth of something is always brilliant and extremely important. That immaculate hope and the un-failed plans that have been birthed with it.
As life goes on, you realise that life without purpose feels like a prison sentence, it suffocates you. It feels like you’re just living day to day hoping for something to happen to bring meaning to everything; to make sense. And that’s where we find ourselves: trying to find the answer to the “why are we here” question.
Most of us are still on the quest of discovering who we are and what our mission is. We try to look in front of us to realise where we are going. Often we try to learn things and read as much as possible to discover our very essence. However, after years of doing this myself, I don’t think this is the only approach. Danielle Laporte said “Remember who you were before the world told you who you should be”.
We’ve all experienced one of the most important days of our lives, our birth. We were all born perfect and fearless. I firmly believe that we were built for something unique; for something that only we can do in our individuality. I believe that our lives unlock someone else’s life to an exponential unlocking effect. However, through the process of life, the world presented a version of what we should be. Our uniqueness started to be revoked in order for us to fit in with the herd; we were instructed to comply; to be the same; to be uniform. We were taught how and what to fear. Our true and perfect nature was spoiled.
Who we are in this moment is not who we truly are. Rather, it’s someone we’ve become as a result of being in this world. We’ve adopted our loved ones fears, their limiting beliefs and false assumptions so that we became more like them so that we would be accepted and belong.
Having said that, the answer to our “why” question doesn’t lie in knowing the future, it lies in the past – which drafted our present and shapes our future. We have this amazing drive to gather information; It has never been this easy to gain knowledge – we are addicted to it. We are learning more things to do, rather than doing what we already know. We’re getting bloated, frustrated and overstimulated. “Why am I here?”.
One of the easiest ways to find a solution is to define the issues and tackle them one by one.
Issue #1: Forced Into Compliance – I learnt how to be part of the herd:
Our uniqueness has been beaten down into compliance. We all look alike. We all behave alike. We all want the same things at the same time. I’ve decided NOT to be a statistic. I’ve decided to unlearn all the barriers and definitions that put me into compliance and lock me into a uniform box. I have decided to allow myself to be who I was before the world told me who I should be.
Although this seems like an “unrealistic” process, it can actually be quite simple to trigger. I’ve started this process by going through my school years and asking the question of what it was that made me stand out amidst my peers that I no longer carry with me due to compliance and/or possible bullying. The very same thing that made me look strange is the thing that defines my uniqueness. However, because we are NOT educated to deal with people being different, we beat our differences down and we comply. We want to belong and by wanting that we remove our differences and we become ONE with the circle we belong to. Look around you. What uniqueness have you compromised on to be in the groups you currently belong?
My year’s resolution is to UNLEARN. To think more deeply through every decision. To educate my subconscious mind to question things that are already programmed. To return to a path of the discovery and recovery of my uniqueness. To redeem the lost years of living a life that wasn’t mine.
There’s no reason, justification or excuse to live a life LESS than the one you were built for. Think deeper. Dig through the blueprint of your life (past) to understand where you’re heading. May this new year catapult you into a new understanding of who you are so that you can live a meaningful life – one day at a time. For while we are living someone’s lives, we can’t be free and we can’t discover what life is all about. The secret of true joy is in living the life we were designed to live.
Here’s to thinking more deeply. To questioning and unlearning the current me so that I can learn who I was before the world told me who I should be.